This post is very different than the one I was writing in my head while driving home after a fun weekend with my brother. I was going to write about things I saw this weekend, how hard work is so worth every effort, my pride as a little sister, the love of my husband and babies.... After a text my son received late last night saying a friend had committed suicide this blog post took a different turn. I wasn't going to write at all today but writing is therapeutic and I pray it somehow reaches someone or helps someone that may need it right now.
The look on my sweet son's face last night was unfortunately, not a new one for us to see. The first friend he lost was in first grade. A horrific car accident took a classmates life. He's known others that have died way too young but no one he knew very well. Now he's a 15 yr old young man that has lost yet another friend. While I want so badly to help I am completely at a loss as to what to do. Nothing I do will ease anyone's pain for their loss. So we did what we do and opened our house for friends to come be together. Hunter had a few friends come over to cry, talk, laugh and just be together for a few hours. They were here until early morning hours and I am so glad they have each other.
This young man had so much talent and such a great life ahead of him. He suffered from depression and had demons he fought constantly. Depression is not something you can see on the outside. My hope from this post is that we learn, truly learn and get, that we don't know what others are dealing with. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. We don't and can't know how our words and actions will truly affect someone.
The things I want to share here are these: Be kind. Be supportive. Take an extra minute to wait and listen to a response to the all too often rhetorical question, "how are you?" We pass people in the hallway at work or school and say, "hi. how are ya?" and move on, like it's a simple greeting. If someone looks a bit down, give them a smile or a touch on the arm or a quick hug. I once read we need 16 touches a day to survive. I don't think that's a physical survival but to remain emotionally and mentally alive and healthy we need to have some human, physical connection every day.
About 4 hours into my trip home yesterday I pulled into an Arby's parking lot and cried. I had pulled into a spot that had no one around so as not to look like a weirdo. An older man in a truck pulled up beside me to eat his sandwich. As I was wiping my eyes before getting out of the car this man caught my eye, gave me a smile and quick wave. He had no idea why I was crying, I'm not sure I did either, but his small gesture did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I hope we follow this man's example and look around us. Reach out, smile and love those around us. You never know when you may change someone's day or maybe save a life.
RIP Blake Li. You touched so many lives and you will be missed.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
As I was getting the car ready to take kids to school this morning by scraping the ice off the windows and putting a blanket on the leather seats in the back row; I realized a few things. I I took my dad for granted, I did marry someone with similar qualities as my dad and chivalry is not dead.
My mom was agoraphobic and would rarely go anyplace alone during the day. This worked to my advantage when I was 16. She would say, "I'm not going anyplace until you or your dad get home. You can drive to school today." I'd give her a kiss on the cheek, skip out the door and get in the already warmed up and de-iced blue Chevy Cavalier. While I was finishing getting ready for the day, my dad would be outside warming up both cars and scraping the windshields, knocking off any snow or icicles that had formed overnight. "My car" was always so warm and toasty. I know I thanked him every day for doing this but didn't realize what a sacrifice it was until later. After I moved out and had my own car, I had to scrape the windows. It was then that I really appreciated my dad. I remember calling him thanking him for all the times over the years he did that for me. He laughed and said, "It was nothing. Just something I did." Jim quite often will do the same for me. This morning however; as I grabbed the frozen door handle and realized that the car was still covered in a thin layer of ice, I was reminded of my dad his sweet service for me to show that he loved me. As I scraped the windows and put a blanket on the back row of seats so the kids' little bottoms wouldn't freeze, I smiled thinking of my dad's example and how I'm still following his lead by doing it for my kids too.
When I dropped the kids off at school, their happy chatter and sweet giggles left the car silent and me to my thoughts. My thoughts are much like my writing, a bit scattered. :) My mind went from my dad to my sweet husband that I know would do anything in the world for me. He always tells me, "I love you so much and I just want you to always be happy." I am and I will be with him by my side. He has so much in common with my dad in the way he treats me. My dad treated my mom like a princess, even when she was incredibly grumpy with him. I never understood how he could do that. Now I do. It's called love and marriage being a give and take relationship. When I'm with Jim I never open a door, he always lets me order dinner first when we're at a restaurant, when we're walking-he walks on the outside edge of the sidewalk. I've never been a girl that thinks there are particular jobs for each gender or partner in a relationship. So don't think I'm old fashioned and being a wimpy girl. I think it's sweet and respectful when Jim does these things for me. I love even more that he teaches our boys to do the same. Chivalry is not dead...at least when a Eudaily boy is around. I've seen Hunter open doors for women anyplace we go and he does it without even thinking. He always smiles at the women and tells them to have a good day or something. I've seen him shrug off his coat give it to girl that forgot hers at home. My heart bursts with pride when I see him following his dad's example. I teach the boys when they're little hold the door for me or their sisters whenever we're out. Now Nate will run ahead of us at church and hold the door for his sisters and mom and then looks around to see if anyone else is coming. He gets the biggest smile on his face when people thank him for being such a gentleman. He doesn't do this so much when it's 10 degrees outside and I can't say I blame him, either. HA!
My dad was a man of few words. He rarely said, I love you and he rarely hugged anyone but mom. I remember once he asked me if I know why he does stuff like scraping my windows for me. I shrugged my shoulders and he said, "because I love you." The saying goes, Actions speak louder than words, it was truly the case with my dad. I'm sure he'd like knowing those things are still being done for his daughter and his grandbabies. And that we're continuing to teach the boys to be gentlemen and the girls to be ladies.
My mom was agoraphobic and would rarely go anyplace alone during the day. This worked to my advantage when I was 16. She would say, "I'm not going anyplace until you or your dad get home. You can drive to school today." I'd give her a kiss on the cheek, skip out the door and get in the already warmed up and de-iced blue Chevy Cavalier. While I was finishing getting ready for the day, my dad would be outside warming up both cars and scraping the windshields, knocking off any snow or icicles that had formed overnight. "My car" was always so warm and toasty. I know I thanked him every day for doing this but didn't realize what a sacrifice it was until later. After I moved out and had my own car, I had to scrape the windows. It was then that I really appreciated my dad. I remember calling him thanking him for all the times over the years he did that for me. He laughed and said, "It was nothing. Just something I did." Jim quite often will do the same for me. This morning however; as I grabbed the frozen door handle and realized that the car was still covered in a thin layer of ice, I was reminded of my dad his sweet service for me to show that he loved me. As I scraped the windows and put a blanket on the back row of seats so the kids' little bottoms wouldn't freeze, I smiled thinking of my dad's example and how I'm still following his lead by doing it for my kids too.
When I dropped the kids off at school, their happy chatter and sweet giggles left the car silent and me to my thoughts. My thoughts are much like my writing, a bit scattered. :) My mind went from my dad to my sweet husband that I know would do anything in the world for me. He always tells me, "I love you so much and I just want you to always be happy." I am and I will be with him by my side. He has so much in common with my dad in the way he treats me. My dad treated my mom like a princess, even when she was incredibly grumpy with him. I never understood how he could do that. Now I do. It's called love and marriage being a give and take relationship. When I'm with Jim I never open a door, he always lets me order dinner first when we're at a restaurant, when we're walking-he walks on the outside edge of the sidewalk. I've never been a girl that thinks there are particular jobs for each gender or partner in a relationship. So don't think I'm old fashioned and being a wimpy girl. I think it's sweet and respectful when Jim does these things for me. I love even more that he teaches our boys to do the same. Chivalry is not dead...at least when a Eudaily boy is around. I've seen Hunter open doors for women anyplace we go and he does it without even thinking. He always smiles at the women and tells them to have a good day or something. I've seen him shrug off his coat give it to girl that forgot hers at home. My heart bursts with pride when I see him following his dad's example. I teach the boys when they're little hold the door for me or their sisters whenever we're out. Now Nate will run ahead of us at church and hold the door for his sisters and mom and then looks around to see if anyone else is coming. He gets the biggest smile on his face when people thank him for being such a gentleman. He doesn't do this so much when it's 10 degrees outside and I can't say I blame him, either. HA!
My dad was a man of few words. He rarely said, I love you and he rarely hugged anyone but mom. I remember once he asked me if I know why he does stuff like scraping my windows for me. I shrugged my shoulders and he said, "because I love you." The saying goes, Actions speak louder than words, it was truly the case with my dad. I'm sure he'd like knowing those things are still being done for his daughter and his grandbabies. And that we're continuing to teach the boys to be gentlemen and the girls to be ladies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)