Proud to be a Stay At Home Mom

I am a stay at home mom. I have been for nearly 21 years. For years I've wondered if I should get a job, outside of the home. Why I feel the need to clarify, "outside of the home" is a bit odd to me. What I do is a full time job. I don't get paid, sick days, vacation days and it's more difficult, emotionally, mentally and physically than nearly every paid job I've ever had.

My youngest son is in 2nd grade and in school all day. Last year I applied to be a sub in our schools. I love doing this so much! It's a blast to see the kids and have so many kids come running in during the day to say hi to me or ask me if I'm so and so's mom. I get to know the teachers on a different level than just the parent-teacher relationship. I thoroughly enjoy it. The days I sub at school the afternoon is different at home. I can't put a finger on it, it's just different. Not as calm, maybe...?

As I consider the possibility of a job opening up some day in the schools that I could apply for I think about the pros &  cons list. There are good to both but each has a cost. Being a Stay at home mom means that we don't drive the fanciest cars, have the fanciest clothes and aren't season ticket holders to any sports teams, vacations don't come every year. However, being a stay at home mom means that I'm home when my kids get home. Should they have a bad day or a great day, I'm here to laugh and dance with them or give hugs and share ice cream. I have time to do grocery shopping with ease and probably take longer than I have to at the store. I save money on "work clothes" I can wear jeans and sweatshirt every day if I choose. I've been told by my "working mom" friends that something has to give when you work outside of the home. Kids get sick at school...they may not be able to come home or have to wait until I can get there to get them. The house may be messier, dinners may be rushed. However you have more money for more things. Sports each season, music lessons, toys, nicer/newer cars, more clothes. I'd be around people more, be more challenged in areas I'm not as much, I'd get kudos for job well done. 

With big decisions we discuss them with our kids because it impacts them too. Today I was talking to one of my teenagers and this topic came up. We talked about a family she babysits for and how they have so many toys and gadgets. I followed her lead with this fun conversation. She said, "I know we can have more toys and things if you worked but I would rather have you home when I get home." She told me some of her friends don't see their parents very much and that she likes having me to talk to. One of my kids called from school and came home sick today. I was so happy I can be there to get them and not have to clear it with my boss, arrange for things to be done while I'm not in the office.

When I quit my job after my first baby a co worker said, "you're off to have the life of luxury." At the time I thought, okay. maybe. Then about 3 weeks later I thought, "what was she thinking?!" I don't get enough sleep, I don't always shower every day, I get puked on, pooped on and then I clean and cook when she takes a nap. Yep! This is the life of luxury."

I don't have a boss giving me deadlines, I set my own schedule, I do have a side business that I budget my time with. So, I guess now I'm living that  life of luxury she referred to. We were in a car accident 2 years ago and we needed to get a "new" car and insurance didn't pay off the van that was totaled so we couldn't afford what we wanted to get so we searched and what we found was a 10 yr old Suburban. It was new to us and we love it. It is a financial sacrifice to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I have talked about me getting a job a thousand times over the years and every time our decision is that the kids need to be more available to them than we need extra money in our pockets. I'm realize we're so fortunate to be able to do this. It is financially tough many times throughout the year, we have to decide who gets braces next and our kids don't get a car when they turn 16. They actually share a car that is 17 years old and they love it because it's theirs.

So the next time I'm asked what do I do, I may consider the following answer, "I'm a CEO, CFO, nurse, mediator, tutor, chef, maid, taxi driver, psychologist, financial advisor, accountant, friend and coach." Or maybe I'll just say, "I'm a stay at home mom" and not feel the need inadequate or like I need to justify my decision.

Being a Stay At Home Mom makes me happy. I'm happy I get to be there for my kids. Our second is heading off to college a few weeks, we've found out firsthand that kids grow up super fast. Make sure you stop and smell the roses with them and enjoy the ride.

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Thanksgiving made fun

I love Thanksgiving!! I love the traditions that we started when we had a bunch of little kids. I love that it's a day we hang out with just our kids, no work, homework or other life's busyness gets in the way. We watch the Macy's parade while the kids go through the paper changing or adding to their Christmas lists. I love most that it's just a day that we can all just shut down and enjoy each other.

When I was a very young kid I decided that I would cook with my kids and always have them join in on Thanksgiving cooking.  My mom was an amazing cook and liked her space in the kitchen. When I'd offer to help she'd let me get stuff out of the pantry and that's where my help ended. This didn't turn out very well for my poor husband. I'll share that story in another blog. It's a favorite of his and our kids love to hear it so they can openly laugh at me. 

For today's blog I thought I'd share what I've learned along the way and traditions that we unknowingly started. You do something one time and if it's a hit with the kids, we've found out that it becomes a tradition. We're now a bit  choosy about new ideas we want to try at the holidays.  :) 

Last week we sat down with the kids and decided what we wanted to eat for Thanksgiving dinner, if anyone wanted to try a new recipe and what desserts we wanted to have. Then we decided who wanted to make what. THIS is one of my favorite traditions. I'm not even sure when it started but every child makes something for Thanksgiving dinner.  Courtney is about to leave for college and has wanted to go grocery shopping with me and make all my grocery lists lately. This week is no different. I've loved teaching her about how to shop on a budget and spending time with her before she leaves for her first year of college.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I have all the kids get their ingredients out that will be needed, except for refrigerator items, and help them put all their items in the dish they will need to make or bake with. My counter looks like a mess for a day or two but it's so worth it in the end. I try to keep it an organized mess but I wouldn't want it any other way.

We tape our recipes on the front of the cabinet doors at their eye level. This keeps them from getting water and food all over them. Again, not sure when that lightbulb idea came on for me but so glad it did. No more, "where did my recipe go?!" or "I can't read it! I just spilled stuff on it."  If they can make their side dish the day before I help them and if not then we figure out a way to coordinate it so everything is ready at the same time. My dad told me that he loved watching mom cook. "She is so good at it and every single thing for the meal comes out at the same time. She amazes me!"  This was something that took me a few years to figure out how to do but yeah...it's pretty cool to have it happen and look effortless. My mom was really good at it.

I hate putting my hands in places I can't see. You know the game where you put your hand in the bag and describe what you feel to see if it can be guessed? I hate that game so much!!! I still have a hard time reaching in blindly to get anything. Jim is a very sweet husband and every year offers to do the turkey. I never say no! Several years ago he asked Hunter to help him, now it's a thing all 3 boys do together. I help with spices but everything else is "a guy thing."  I love watching them do their magic in the kitchen together. It's always a time of sweet laughter and guy chats.

When I was a kid my job after Thanksgiving dinner was to do the dishes. So not a fun job when you ARE the dishwasher and you can hear laughter in the rest of the house that you're missing out on. My sweet Uncle Steve would always come save me. Some of my fondest memories are the chats Uncle Steve and I would have while we took turns washing and drying dishes. He always had perfect timing too! Just about the time I'd be getting really irritated with this lovely tradition, he'd walk in and say, "Hey Tisk. Scoot over" as he grabbed a towel. I remember the Thanksgiving of my senior year, I'd quickly blinked tears away because I'd realized this would most likely be our last year doing this together. (It was. I'm glad I was wise enough to cherish that time)  Now that I have kids AND a real dishwasher we do them together. Along with deciding I'd cook with my kids, I also decided they'll not do the dishes alone. There's always a huge pile of dishes to do and it takes several loads...who wants to do that alone?

I love that our kitchen is the hub of our house but my favorite time to be in the kitchen is the week of Thanksgiving. I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving and that you make new fun memories. Some of the just may end up being new traditions.  

TEACHING NEW DRIVERS TO DRIVE IN WINTER

This blog serves as my tips for  new teenage driving parents.  I hope this helps someone find the courage to take your new driver out on snowy roads. Two days ago we had our first snow fall and yesterday we had blowing snow through the cornfields and over the roads. For those that haven't experienced blowing snow across the open fields it makes for ice rink type road conditions. There were several cars and even  a semi truck jack-knifed in ditches around out town. Not all of them were teenage drivers but a few were. The adults knew how to handle it, while teenagers may not have been as equipped for this to  happen. It's happened to almost all of us, and quite often it happens so fast your reaction time is only a second before you find yourself in a ditch.
 
My dad had me pass His test before I could get my license.  The stories you've heard about driving with an egg on the dashboard, are really true with some of us. At the time I thought he was cruel and mean but now I'm so glad he was a bit more strict. I had to be able to turn, stop and start without that egg rolling off the dashboard. He told me the egg wasn't hardboiled and he did not want an egg mess in his car. I did roll it off the dashboard one day and found out he was much  wiser than he let on...he had it hard boiled after all. I also needed to call out the color of every first car in line at an intersection I was either approaching or sitting at a red light with. My kids have the similar rules before they get their license. Winter driving lessons by mom is mandatory.

When our kids are learning to drive they 1. have to learn drive our most difficult car first, 2. They  cannot get their license until they've learned how to handle a car on ice and snow...if they get it before winter, then they don't get to drive on ice or snow until they've passed my test. 3. They have to pass "my test" first before getting their license. I found out that my dad wasn't only right but wise in making me do those "ridiculous things."  

We have a Suburban that I love to drive so very much. It's big, roomy inside, it carries everything we ever take with us anyplace and I don't worry about getting stuck in a ditch or about kids driving it. In the winter it does fishtail quite easily, donuts are super easy to do and the brakes are a bit softer than a car. So when the kids learn to drive the big white monster they get to move onto a car. They find the cars much easier to drive and park and are then comfortable driving any car that's available to them.

My favorite thing to do with them is to take them to an open parking lot or abandoned building lot and not tell them what's going to happen when I tell give them certain instructions.  In the parking lot I let them experiment with speeding up and stopping on snow and telling them to never fight the car. It causes the tires to overcorrect when they get control again and an overcorrection causes another spinout in the other direction. After my "lesson"; my fun begins.  The first time I did this with Kara was on a slick, snow packed parking lot after hours. In the middle of a turn  I told her to speed up a bit, as soon as she accelerated the car started to spin in a complete circle.  She panicked, yelled but controlled the car completely.  Immediately after the car stopped she smacked my arm. I allowed that because, well...I may have deserved it. Then I did the reverse and had her stop fast. She slid and fishtailed but again kept the car under control. I've done this with both older girls and they're pretty good winter drivers. In fact, the first time Kara drove the Suburban she was trying to stop at a downhill intersection and did a complete 360. She called me after it was over and she'd pulled off the side of the road to calm down.  "Well, I survived my first donut and with traffic all around me." Her voice was still shaking and felt so bad for her but was so proud of her too. She said as she was sliding and spinning she saw 2 trucks doing the same thing and one was heading toward her.

Our oldest son gets his Driver's Permit in February and he knows no fear. and I do worry about him enjoying doing the donuts and fishtails too much but he will go through the same steps. Though I've had him on back roads already (ssshhh) and he handled the suburban pretty well for a first time drive.

Even if you don't like driving in snow and slick roads, find a way to get your new driver out in the snow. Ask a friend, ask a neighbor, find an extra driving class for winter...there are options. You'll be doing them and others a service. While you're at it, tell them what do if they do end up in a ditch.  Tell them when to keep the car turned  on, when to turn it off. Keep emergency blankets in your car, tell them where your insurance and registration is kept. Most importantly let them know not to be afraid to call you. They're more important than the car. We know this but their fear often makes them forget that. I stopped to help 3 cars of kids that had been in a fender bender. All three drivers said through tears,  "I don't wanna tell my parents. They're gonna be so mad." I assured them they'll be happier knowing they're okay than they will be mad about the car. 

Enjoy the adventures the snow brings. Take extra steps to keep your babies safe while driving and give them a dose of confidence. They can all use that.  

Celebrate life.

Late last night, I realized that this is the week that both of my parents passed away. One 16 years ago, the other 6 years ago. Remembering this, naturally made me a bit sad and for a couple reasons. Reason One: Is a natural feeling and thought...My parents aren't here with us.  Reason Two: The days they passedand I didn't realize what the dates were. The weeks before my mom's passing was all a huge blur. I couldn't remember the day, let alone the date. When my dad passed away, I got a call from his dad on a late Sunday night saying he'd died. If someone were to ask me the dates of either death, I can tell you the 24, 25 or 26 of October, unless I look up the information. Weird, right?

I remember so many details of the days but not the exact dates of their deaths. Mom died at 6:00 on a Wednesday evening; I held her hand as she took her last breath.  I'd talked to my dad the day before he died and when I got the call it seemed like a dream phone call. My grandpa's voice sounded like it was in distant fog.  

As those days passed this week I thought of my parents, like I do so many other days. However, I didn't think, "Oh! This is the day my mom or dad died." I didn't cry because this was the day I sat with my mom as she took her last breath. I didn't cry because it was the last day I talked to my dad. This made me feel like maybe I'm a "bad daughter" or ungrateful or something. THEN I thought maybe it just means that I'm in a good place and a positive thinker. I remember them and think of them all the time but I don't dwell on their passing. They wouldn't want anyone to do that. 

Instead they'd want me to think of their lives, a celebration of sorts. The joy, laughter, teaching, examples, their quick wit and funny anecdotes about them. I think of the twinkle in my mom's eyes as she made a birthday cake for her family, I think of the bounce in her step as she listened to Elvis' Christmas music. I think of the hours my dad spent  teaching me how to through a softball, hit a ball, how to throw a punch so I could defend myself from a bully at school. I think of the nights he drove me home from late night activities and he'd notice the stars were so bright he'd pull over and we'd stare at the sky as he taught me about the constellations or space or some other science thing. (I hated science and that really bothered him...so very much.)  

My grade in History had dropped, but not yet failing. My dad decided he'd come up with a "Proverb" to share with me. "Hey Tiff. I have a Chinese Proverb for you. No Passee, no Driveee."  I of course responded with an eye roll and saying to Chill, it's not even a D- yet.  Though I did decide to focus more and study harder for the next test so I could continue to drive whenever I wanted. My mom would sing We ain't Got a Barrel of Money  whenever I was bummed about something or Dad had given me another fabulous proverb. (This Proverb Phase lasted for most of my high school life.) Before she'd sing this she's put a Reese's cup paper on her tooth to black it out, paint a wart on her face, mess up her hair or something ridiculous and do a silly dance.  "We ain't got a barrel of.....Money. Maybe we're ragged and..... funny. But we'll travel along, singin a  song.....side by side." As soon as I'd start to smile, she'd hook her arm in mine and jokingly poke me in the side until I sang the last line with her, then we'd laugh as we sang more of the song and completely screw up the lyrics. 

October has always been one of my favorite months. The smells, colors, fall festivals, silly costumes and we celebrate our last baby's birthday the day before Halloween.  I love that losing both of my parents in the same month hasn't changed my feelings about this month and time of year. Rather it's sweetened this time of year with fond memories, smiles and a warm heart.

October makes me happy. I hope this blog finds you happy too.

I'm mustering courage today

I start physical therapy for my frozen shoulder today and to be honest, I'm quite nervous and a little scared. I've heard from the Dr and a couple friends that it's very painful. I'm sure it is, I'm not expecting it to be a carnival ride. When the dr tells you take 800 mg of ibuprofen before the session, it makes you wonder how bad it's going to be.  I'm not afraid of much and don't let fear take up residence in my life but today it's creeping in a bit.  

In keeping with October being Parent  Appreciation month,  I though I'd write about my mom and how she conquered a big fear she had. My mom was agoraphobic. She would leave the house if she absolutely had to but most often when she left it would only be with my dad and when we went places, she needed to either be near the exit or see the exit. She'd take me out of school for a mom/daughter shopping day once a year and more times than not I'd be the one writing the check while she would sit by the store window and try not to have a full blown panic attack.

When I was in elementary school, parents were invited to have lunch with their child for the Thanksgiving Feast. Every year my mom would tell me she'd try her best to get there. Every year my friend Heather and her mom would invite me to sit and eat with them. Her mom was always so kind to me. She'd always include me in the conversation and make me feel important too. I got used to this tradition and it didn't bother me that my mom wasn't there. It was a 30 minute lunch and I was more excited to go play outside with my friends. Still, every year when I'd walk in the door after the Feast I'd see my mom sitting next to the door crying. She'd jump up and hug me and say over and over how  very sorry she was that she missed it. I'd again reassure it that it didn't bother me and then tell how much fun I had at recess after lunch. Years later she told me she'd stand with her hand on the doorknob for hours before just sitting on the floor to wait for me to come home.

In the summer between 4th and 5th grade mom decided she was going to stop being afraid of being outside. She'd talked to me about this for weeks and finally one day she comes to me with her purse and tells me to "stay here. I'm going to the bank. I'll be back shortly." The bank was one block down our street and the second building to the right. I was so proud of her for wanting to do this. I watched from the front window as she walked very slowly down our front steps and onto the road, I saw her hesitate for a second then shake her head no and take another step toward her goal. She got halfway down the block when I decided to follow her to make sure she was okay. I remember stuffing her inhaler in my pocket and walked slowly behind making sure to stay half the block away. The pride I felt as I watched my mom walk into the bank, smile and start talking to the people in the lobby made my chest feel like it was going to burst. When I saw her start to come out of the bank I hustled home and hid behind a huge tree in my neighbors yard so I could watch her face as she realized she'd done it. She'd conquered her fear. She'd been outside, the sky didn't fall, no one tried to hurt her, and she did it all by herself. She didn't need me to watch over her, or be there to hug her if she got scared. She just needed to muster the courage to do it.  Years later when she was telling me about how good she felt and how proud she was of herself I told her I was proud of her too and the look on her face when she walked out of the bank was the happiest I'd seen her in awhile. She asked how I'd seen her face and then I fessed up that I'd followed her that day. She wasn't upset for me not listening to her direct order to "stay here" but she was touched that I loved her that much that I'd follow her so I could help her succeed in conquering her fear. 

So, today I'm following my mom's example and will muster the courage to go to Physical therapy as the Dr. described,  " they will use weights and lots of tension to pull my tendons and muscles out of a their locked position." This doesn't help my fear ease but as I do whatever the Physical Therapist asks me to do with the weight I will be thinking of my mom's face as she walked out of the bank that bright, sunny day.

Where is your Heaven on earth?

This post has been on my mind for over a month now. I think maybe it's being written in October because this month seems to be a difficult one for many folks. I know in my family  we've lost 4 or 5 family members over the years in October. For many it's a reminder that cold and snow is coming. So I  think maybe now is the time for me to write about Heaven on Earth. I've had a few things happen that were reminders that we can have or find Heaven on Earth in a lot of different places.

Heaven on Earth is someplace where you feel peaceful and happy. This place doesn't have to be super quiet to be peaceful and t doesn't have to be calm. I really dislike grocery shopping. From beginning (menu/list making) to end  (putting groceries away) it's easily 3-3 1/2 hours. I always hope to have planned it perfectly and see my kids walking home from school as I pull in the driveway.  One day last month I took a picture of lunch I bought at the store and sent it to my brother. The text was,  "Sushi and Mtn Dew after grocery shopping! Heaven can even be in a Kroger parking lot!" So true!  I listened to a radio station the kids don't love as I ate my sushi and enjoyed a soda...all by myself. It really was a little bit like Heaven on Earth. 

 These blocks are in our family room. I completely believe anyone's home can be a Heaven on Earth. We have unwritten home rules that the kids just know to follow--even their friends.  Our home is a "safe house" meaning no one gets ganged up on or talked about and gossip isn't shared about school friends.  I think having these things be in place does make it a heaven on earth. I'm not saying it's a Heaven on earth all the time but there are lots of moments that I think "It doesn't get much better than this." Those are the times the house is filled with laughter, lots of commotion, happy chatter, music and love. Quite often my Heaven in our home is around the dining room table. We eat dinner there, coordinate our weekly calendar, play games and nightly homework sessions happen at the table and quite often it's turned into someone's "office" for problems to be solved or fun surprise planned.. 

Our dining room table was being thrown away by a neighbor one thanksgiving weekend. Jim and his brother ran over and pulled it from the trash. Jim then sanded and refinished the top. I love this table! I love the story behind it and the labor of love it was for Jim to make it look great for our family.  

A few years ago we took the kids to the ocean for the first time. Seeing their faces when they heard the waves crashing before they could see was the best part of the trip for me. We spent five great fun and sun filled days playing at the beach and in the ocean. We returned home just a few days before school started and Hunter, then 13, was assigned to write an essay about his favorite place on earth and tell why it was his favorite place. Knowing how much fun he had at the ocean, I was certain that this would be his place. He surprised me by writing about the soccer field. When he's on the field he said his mind is clear and he's "just plain happy." He smiles more often than not when he's playing soccer or even at a practice; which makes it even more fun to cheer when you see his happy face from the stands. 

 Where is your Heaven on Earth? It doesn't have to be just one, it doesn't have to be amazing to everyone, it doesn't even have to make sense to anyone else. I mean, really...how many people think a grocery store parking lot is a little bit of Heaven on Earth? I'd love to read about where you find  Heaven on Earth. 

I declare October Parent Appreciation month

I've declared October "Parent Appreciation" month. Many know their story but I think it's pretty impressive so here's a quick bit...Mom was 33, Rusty, 21 when they married. Mom had a "tween" boy & 5 yr old girl when they married. I think I was ready to be married at 21, but not sure I'd have been ready to be an instant parent to 2 kids. Did they have issues and problems? Yes. Did they have a tough road ahead? Yes. Did they love each other? Absolutely. Did Rusty adopt both of us and raise as his own kids? Yes. He worked 2, 3 and at times 4 jobs to make sure we didn't do without what we needed. We didn't have everything we wanted, but we had clothes, food, warm beds and parents that loved us. Did I miss my biological dad? Yes. Did I always wonder why he gave up his parental rights? Absolutely! Did I always have questions for him? Yep. Did I reunite with him before his passed away? Yes I did and am so very grateful I did. He didn't pass away in October but I'll share stuff about him too, because without him...well, my brother and I wouldn't be here...I loved so much that I reconnected with him. More later about that.
   This week I've been thinking  about my mom and so many of the recipes I so badly wish I'd written down. Had I done that though, I'm sure no recipe I copied would taste just like hers. She cooked with a pinch, handful and dash of everything. I'd sit on the chair at the end of kitchen counter, watching her cook as she asked about my day or sang to or with me and would wonder how she knew how much to use. Fast forward 30 or so years and I find myself cooking just like she did. I love that! My kids, however hate it because they can't make their favorites "just like mom" either. The recipes I've so wanted were my mom's apple dumplings, ham loaf, stuffed peppers. I hated the pepper but loved the "stuff". I've looked for anything like any of them on several websites and have yet to find anything similar. My efforts to duplicate haven't been so successful yet...BUT I will not give up! The search and creations continue!
    My two oldest children got to meet my mom. Kara remembers a few things about her,  Courtney remembers stories we've told that involve her and the other four kiddos have only seen pictures and heard stories. All of my kids got to meet my Dad, Rusty. All but the youngest remember him and have their own stories about him. When I hear those stories from them, it's like a little flame warms my heart. I so wish all of my kids got to know my mom too. She had her troubles but she had such a good heart and so badly wanted her family to know how much she loved them. When our oldest son was born, 9 months after my mom passed away, Jim looked at our son's little scrunched face and got the sweetest smile. He holds him out for me to take him and says, "Look Tiff! He has one dimple just like your mom. It's like she kissed him on the cheek before he left Heaven." Our second son (and youngest baby) has one dimple too. I love seeing their dimples and even though the boys didn't get to meet my mom, they have a piece of her with them all the time. The girls all have my moms eye shape and Jim's eye color. I love genetics and how so much of our DNA is carried from generation to generation. At times, I've looked at my babies faces and catch a glimpse of my mom in them.
    My parents passed away one day shy of a full decade apart, in October. So, I could be sad when I think of the heartbreak this month brought 10 years apart OR I could think of them, miss them and think of all the good they brought in my life, the things they taught, they way they loved, the laughter they shared and the love for learning they both had and instilled in me. I hope I've passed that onto their grandchildren. Yes...I miss them. Yes, there are times I just want a hug only my mom can give. Yes, I'd love to hear a dumb joke dad would tell. But for now, I'll hold my memories close to my heart and remember all the good and happiness they added to my life.
   Happy Autumn (my favorite time of year),  Happy October and Happy Parents' Appreciation month.   Make this a good month filled with laughter and joy in your life.

End of summer. End of a book series

When I turn the last page of a good book, I find myself turning it more slowly so I can savor the last few words of the story. Today I as I closed the back cover to a five book series I've been reading all summer, I quietly sat and savored the moment in my quiet house. This series moved and inspired me in ways books don't often do. 

It was the Walk Series by Richard Paul Evans. I think I've read only one other book of his years and years ago. I don't usually read series books because I find myself getting stuck in a rut if I consecutively read too many books by the same author.  Though, I'm glad I stuck with this series. It has so many inspiring quotes and cool things about our country...truly loved the books. And they're quick reads too. Five books in 12 busy weeks...not too shabby.

The series is about a man named, Alan Christofferson, who decides to walk across the country. (I'm not a spoiler, so I'll be vague)  At the beginning of the book, Alan Christofferson has some rough things happen and he  walks away from Seattle which holds memories, crisis, fear, etc. He decides his goal is to walk to Key West, Florida. On his walk he meets many people that show up in his life for reasons he doesn't know or understand. Is it for him or them? As he walks across our beautiful country he encounters animals, situations and see things that can  scare the bravest people. I did research about the author and what if he did anything to prepare for this book. While he didn't walk the country, he did drive it and saw the many things the main character sees during his walk. 

This series made me think about my life and the people that have been in it for short times, just passing through or have been there for years and years.  Made me think of all the times as a young mom that I was struggling getting through the day at the drs, grocery shopping, bed times, homework help while I had other little ones tugging at my arms or crying for attention and someone noticed and offered a hand, entertained my kiddos while I check out at the store or just gave a knowing, supportive smile. Made me think of the times I've seen my sweet husband and children help older ladies with their groceries, push stuck cars out of snowy ditches, hold doors open for people and  all the emails from teachers telling me something kind my kids did at school. It made me grateful that we do and have taught our kids to walk through life with our heads up and aware of others around us.

In the book, people ask the main character how are you doing this? Why so far? One of his answers was  "I do it one step at a time."  We are all on this walk and the journey may be difficult at times and other times it will go by faster than we thought it would. My take from the series was  we all have the opportunity to be on this journey and to do good on our way and to graciously accept the help we're offered during our tough walks. In accepting the help, we may be helping the giver in ways we will never know.

I love books that make me think, that I learn something from, or inspire me to be better or do more. I'm not saying I always read deep, search for life's meaning type of books. I think there's something to learn from anything we read. We need to read what makes us happy and helps our journey be the best it can be.

I'm off to see what book needs opened next. Happy Reading!  Oh and pictures and craft ideas will be coming with my next blog post in a day or 2. :)  These new ideas really do make me happy!! I'm excited to share them with you.

Tiffany DID have an epiphany!

     I am an easily distracted person and it has happened with my blog too. I lost focus of what my original idea and goal was for my blog. My goal was to share ideas that have helped me survive being a mom to a bunch of kids and hopefully help or inspire someone along the way. My kids told me I need more pictures and to show more of our fun ideas. So, I will honor their requests as I share our summer fun and my path to "self re-discovery".  

                                              family picture taken November 2013

     I think there's always room for improvement in every area of our lives. In this "season of self RE discovery" I have recommitted to being a better full time mom to my sweet kiddos and a better wife. This was on my mind while I was grocery shopping this week and I  had an epiphany of sorts while in the freezer section at Kroger.  

      As I was making my grocery list this week I'd asked the kids what they wanted for lunches. They're suggestions included some frozen tv dinner type meals,  spaghettios and fruit salads. As I was loading my cart with these simple, cheap frozen entrees I looked at the ones I had chosen to buy and (here's my epiphany) I thought I can make ALL of this at home. It's healthier, still inexpensive, and it can be another opportunity for me to teach them how to cook. So, I tossed them back in the freezer.  I will be swapping quick frozen entrees with extra sugar and preservatives for  fettucini noodles with milk, butter, flour, spices and Parmesan cheese to make creamy garlic parmessan cheese sauce and will add broccoli or spinach for an added veggie punch. I will be making fresh vegetable snacks with the use of one of my favorite veggie websites VeggieVenture This site has some of my favorite dishes ever! The kids wanted to order pizza and...you got it! we are making fresh homemade pizza instead. It takes a bit of time to prep meals like this but it's still not more than 30 minutes. I can handle that!  

     I also started the T25 workout today with the kids. I need to be a better example of being active and taking good care of the body God gave me. After we did the workout this afternoon, I was famished and  realized I hadn't eaten anything yet today. With the T25 dvd set came a little nutrition booklet with healthy, appropriate sized recipes. As I was reading through this I found several that sounded quite yummy. I mentioned a few out loud, the kids even got excited about them. Natalie, my 13 yr old, said, "mom you go get in the shower and I'll make the Chicken Waldorf salad for you." She did and it was delicious!! I love the traditional Waldorf salad that has mayonnaise and whipped cream but this one is just as good and so much healthier!  Below is the recipe. It was so filling and satisfying I wasn't the least bit hungry for several hours.

Chicken Waldorf Salad 

(this makes one serving)

 5 oz cooked, cubed chicken breast

1/4 medium Granny Smith apple, thinly sliced (I prefer bite sized pieces)

1 TBS chopped raw walnuts

1/4 C red grapes, halved

1 TBS citrus vinaigrette

Citrus Vinaigrette

(this makes several servings and so very delicious!)

3 TBS fresh orange juice 

2 TBS fresh lemon juice 

1/2 tsp raw honey

2 tsp dijon mustard (or to taste, I prefer less mustard)

3 TBS Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)

In medium bowl combine juices, add honey, whisk together. Add mustard, mix well. Store remainder in fridge for a week. 

     Getting my blood pumping with my kids and providing healthy meals makes me happy. The fact that my 13 year old knows how to read and follow a recipe and that the other kids are developing good habits makes me even happier!  Find what makes you happy and enjoy every minute! 

     

What's your passion?

A few things have made me think about where I am with my life, my goals...my "passion." My brother and I talked recently and caught up with each others' lives from the past few months since we've seen each other. My brother is doing what he loves and always wanted to do. It's come after years or hard work, trial and error and finally having the time to do it. Our conversation was scattered, as it often is, we start chatting and then something reminds one of us something else and so it goes. The topic that has stayed with me is what are our passions and how we hope that our kids get how important it is to follow our hearts and do what we really want to do. And most importantly to be brave and put yourself out there.

One of the passages in the book I'm reading has stayed with me for a few days. "Whether cautionary or exemplary, there has not yet been a life lived that we cannot learn from. It is up to us to decide which ours will be." After being a stay at home mom for nearly 21 years, I'm now in a new season where I have a bit of time to find my "passion" and to decide again what kind of life I want to lead. This sounds funny coming from a mom of six kids who's in her early 40's but just as the year goes on with new seasons, so does life. My youngest child will be going in 2nd grade and teacher need/parent involvement diminishes a bit this year. I am enjoying summer with the kiddos but look forward to the fall and the new "season" I'll get to enter. I've named the season, Self RE-Discovery.

 The hobbies I had when my older kids were younger are still interests to me, but no longer my passion, so to speak. Kid crafts are fun but no longer something I need to do every day. I love cooking fun, interesting and healthy foods for my family. That passion has diminished some as I get in the "what's for dinner" rut. But I'm emerging from that rut, finally. And with the help of the internet and fun recipes. My favorite sites to go to are www.VeggieVenture.com    and www.allrecipes.com. Every recipe I've tried from these have been hits with the whole family,  even the brussel sprouts!

I think my biggest passion, outside of my family, is learning. I love to learn new things...about anything. I'd love be more artsy. I was always discouraged taking art classes in jr high school because my still life drawings looked like something a three year old could draw and probably better. It took me several years after jr high school to realize that being "artsy" doesn't mean just drawing. I am artsy in ways but these talents are as developed as I'd like for them to be. While at an art museum with my brother I'd said something wanting to be more right brained. Every test I've ever taken or looked at shows my results to be almost 50/50. My brother is a lot more right brained that I am &  I told him how I wished I was more right brained. He said he believed the right side can be more developed it worked at it. "I'll never balance my checkbook better than I do today, but you can learn to draw or whatever you want."  He's absolutely right! I just had never thought of it that way. We all know how brilliant Albert Einstein was. He spoke like eight different languages, solved math equations no one else has been able to, etc. I read once where he said, the average person only uses 10% of their brain. Can you imagine what we could do it we used even half of our brain? Yes, I can develop my right sided "talents" more. I just need to follow what I teach my kids and put myself out there and try new things.

 I've always wanted to learn to use a pottery wheel. So, this fall, part of my self Re-discovery will be trying new things, like pottery wheels and tap dancing. I love to dance and really do love to get my heart pumping but I hate going to a gym to get exercise. I like to ride bikes if I have a destination. I don't like riding just to go ride around the block with no place as a goal to get to. I love to dance and I've taught my kids to dance, just like my mom did.Now is the time to learn more.

I think this fall you will find me in some art studio learning how to use clay and a pottery wheel and maybe even in a dance studio.  I think this new season is going to be a fun journey of self REdiscovery. I'm sure it will make me happy...maybe not as happy as those around me though. They'll get to seeing my lopsided clay creations or at my comic relief as I try to tap dance for the first time in my life.

Music. The Language we all understand

As I turned the key over in my Suburban today I heard Stevie Wonder blasting from the speakers. It was then that I remembered my 14 year old son had informed me that he found his Stevie Wonder CD, then he exclaims, "I love him!" He and Jim had listened to it on the way home last night. Had my neighbors noticed that I was just sitting in my driveway smiling while I let the music take me down sweet memory lane, they'd have thought I was a bit crazy. Each memory came with the sweetest feeling. I finally put the car in gear and backed out the driveway while I sang along with Stevie Wonder.

When Stevie started singing his song Sir Duke, I was reminded of a question my brother asked on his facebook page."What Inspires you?"  My serious answer was this: music, art, bright colors, a good book, nature...and Stevie Wonder. Here's a man that hasn't been able to see since early childhood and doesn't let it hold him back. I know in much of his music he uses synthesizers and keyboards with extra sounds but the next time you hear a song of his, try to pick out just the piano he's playing. That is inspiring!! If he can play like that, write the music he does and put on concerts then what's holding us back from doing what we love and want to do? Here are the lyrics to Sir Duke that inspired today's post:

 Music is a world within itself

With a language we all understand

With an equal opportunity

For all to sing, dance and clap their hands

It's true. Music is the language we all understand. Kids are taught the alphabet with music. My teenagers have been taught math through music. They love this high school math teacher because he's not afraid to be silly and make up songs about Slope, Rise over Run or the Volume of a Cone. I'm the  children's chorister at church. I teach about prayer, Jesus, loving others, the 10 commandments...through music. If my kids are stumped with something they're trying to memorize, I'll make up some silly ditty and they laugh at me, but they remember it next time. My absolute favorite part of the Disney movie UP is when they show the character's lives together. It's all little moments of their life, with absolutely no words. Just music. As I watch that part of the movie, I feel happy, sad, excited, I laugh and think "aw" all as I listen to the music and watch as their lives scroll before our eyes. Tom and Jerry cartoons do the same thing. We don't even need to watch as we listen to the music; we can understand how the cat or mouse are feeling or what's going on as we listen to the music. Stevie's right, music is something we all understand! 

Earlier today that I was feeling a bit proud of the fact that music fills our home and lives so much. We have several kids that play the piano, sing and a couple poke around with the guitar. The radio, Ipod, CDs are always going. Then tonight my 11 year old daughter was reading a book that referenced Simon and Garfunkel and she asked me who they were. My pride bubble popped pretty quickly. I started to sing some of their songs and she looked at me like I was from another planet! All the kids do know Carole King, James Taylor, The Beatles...how did Simon and Garfunkel slip through the cracks!??  I know what we'll be doing this weekend! I'll be sharing my happiness as we listen to music Jim and I grew up hearing.  I'm sure there will be laughter but probably not with us but at us as we sing and dance when we hear a song we loved as a kid. I might start with Paul Simon's 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Slip out the back Jack. Make a new plan Stan.... good stuff!!! Nate can count all the rhyming words.  Education and music make me so very happy!

Have a wonderful weekend. Make time to listen to something that makes you happy and share it with those you love. 

Advice worth following.

In my "about me" part of this blog I wrote "many days I don't know how I do what I do. I just wing it with a smile on my face." This is about 70% true and as my kids grow up, graduate and leave home I learn how to do it a bit better. Or at least I hope I do it better.

New moms-to-be often get unsolicited advice from everyone they see and some they don't even know. New moms are given words of advice and sometimes bitter judgments. Today I was given advice from a sweet lady about what sunscreen will protect my kiddos best. Rather than stop her and tell her "I know" I let her share her advice and after, I thanked her for her help and we started to walk around to check out the other side of the display and she instantly apologized. "I'm so sorry. That was unsolicited advice that you probably didn't even want." I said, "Please don't apologize. I appreciate you helping me keep my kids safe." I get less advice these days. I noticed this a couple months ago when it hit me that I'm starting a new "season" in life. My kids are more independent, I go the park and can sit and read a book, go to the pool and don't have to get in to teach kids how to swim. It's a bittersweet season but more sweet than bitter.

When my kids were little I'd watch other moms around me and paid  attention to how they communicate with their children, how they'd teach their kids, how they played with--or didn't play with their kids. I remember once when my oldest was a baby, I'd taken her to the park to go swing.  I'd been watching and chatting with this mom of a couple toddlers. She was pushing her son on the swing and her daughter started to run in front of the swing. Seeing what was about to happen this mom grabbed the swinging child and jerked the swing to a stop. As soon as it was stopped, she went to the running child and started yelling at her, tears from the little girl started and the swinging boy started crying. They both thought they were in trouble. I decided then that I didn't want to be a yelling mom. I'd hoped I'd be able to more calmly react to many situations. I'm not saying I don't yell. I think we all do or have at one time or another. Yelling or slamming doors make my hair stand on end much like fingernails on the chalkboard do to many people. But I do make an effort to not raise my voice out of anger.

One of the benefits of being the younger sister is being able to watch and learn from my brother and his wife. My sister-in-law is one of the best moms I've ever known. She's always so patient, tender and makes time for her kids. We had gone down for a weekend visit for some kid/cousin time. While we watched all the kids play I asked how she keeps the communication lines open with the kids. She simply said, "listen when they talk. Even when it's hard." Just after she said that my 4 year old came in to tell me all about the funny thing my brother had done. We had just watched this happen and were laughing about it too. I was shaking my head yes but kept taking peeks over her shoulder to see what else was going on outside. As I was doing this, my sister-in-law pokes my arm, nods toward my daughter and mouths, "even when it's hard."  I realized that I'd only partially been listening to my sweet, giggling little girl. My sister-in-law's answer was short but some of the best advice I've ever heard and am so glad I have followed her advice.

I was reminded of this advice today when my oldest daughter called me. She's attending college 1800 miles away and we don't talk as often as we used to be able to.  I answer and without saying hello, she starts in with "Hey. I'm walking to the store so I thought I'd call you...like I always do when I go grocery shopping." She filled me in on her life. We laughed as she shared funny stories, we planned her part of father's day fun and I offered advice when she asked.  I love that she calls me when she's walking to the grocery store and that she didn't ask if I had time to talk because she knows I will always make the time to talk.

I think all of our kids know that, or I hope they do. When they come home from school I hear each one of them yell for me as they walk in the door. Sometimes it's letting me know they're home, other times it's, "GUESS what?" I'm glad I can be there for them and that they know they are my first priority.

Take time to listen to the advice we're given from those that are close to us. If I didn't listen to advice I'd been given as mom-to-be, a new mom or learning as I grow up mom, I think I'd know what I'm doing about 10% of the time.

Farewell Dr. Merry

Maybe I should change the name of my blog to midnight blogger, since that seems to be when I give up and clear my head. It's also the only time that my house is silent and I can write uninterrupted.

This morning my husband called and told me one of his favorite college professors and mentor was killed in a horrific auto accident. She was the only one injured and the news said she was pronounced dead at the scene. That phone call shook me more than I'd expect it to. This professor was a female engineer, engineering is still predominantly a man's circle. She was a pioneer of sorts. Not only was she an engineer before so very many women but she was also a college professor who later became a Chair  of the College of Engineering at The Ohio State University. Though, she wasn't ever one of my professors, she touched my life and I'm so grateful to say that I knew her. She was a gracious, kind hearted woman that knew her students and wanted to have a connection with each of them. I heard so many stories from my husband about Dr. Merry. "She taught this, did you know she did...? She drives THE coolest red Porsche! She likes to ski!..." If I didn't know better, I'd think she was Jim's only Engineering Professor.  

Jim said the conversations today in his office were  people sharing their "Dr. Merry stories" When Jim shared His story, someone yelled "THAT was YOU!?" She always told us that she shared his story with her classes every year. Jim didn't really believe her until today.

Honestly, Jim should be writing this post since she was his professor and he was closer to her. But I love that though she never taught me in class, she always gave me a little, quick, soft  hug and asked about our kids and how my life was going. I had the privilege of meeting her several times at several engineering events Jim and his "plus one" was invited to. So, I do feel a bit like I'm infringing on his story but I'll share my side of His Story so it is kind of our story. :)

I was 9 days from my due date with our first baby and it was finals week for Jim. He was beyond stressed and tired.  It was  also before cell phones were easily affordable, so Jim had a pager. He worked full time and went to school full time and was home for about 7 hours a day. His rule for me was, "call the pager  ONLY if you're in labor, not 'please pick up milk  at the store.' " Good, can do. My rule for him was, "You must leave your pager on at all times." Good, can do.  

I worked as a secretary about 25 minutes away from campus and I drove our only car. (He rode a bike and I'd pick him up at the end of the day, have dinner and he'd then take the car to work.) Being a first time mom I didn't quite know what to expect with labor pains and when I started to get crampy and back aches I didn't think much of it. My boss was talking to me and she noticed I kept rubbing my stomach every few minutes. She gets me to the back room, puts my feet up and tells me to call the dr. "No. I'm sure it's nothing.  This feels nothing like the books say." I call the dr. anyway and he suggests I come in he thinks I'm in the early stages of labor. My boss panics, "YOU have the car! You can't drive!"  "No not today. Jim had to do a presentation in class and it was his only final." She tells me to call Jim right away, I hesitate because I know he was so worried about Dr. Merry's presentation. "She's a super nice lady but she's a tough professor. I need to do well on this."  Pain was getting a bit worse and I decide to use my 911 call on the pager. I hear this message: "This pager cannot be reached." WHAT?!?! I call every number I can to find the correct engineering building, secretary and FINALLY some poor guy  who is walking by the phone decided to pick it  up. He hears hears this young mom-to-be explaining the situation. "My husband is giving his final presentation in Dr. Merry's class. I don't know what room, can't remember the name of the class. I don't even know what building. He's studying Structural engineering. You think you can find him for me?"  Unlucky phone answerer: "Give me your number and I will call you if I can NOT find him but I'm pretty sure I know where he is. I'll race over and have him call you." I didn't hear back from him and didn't hear from Jim for another 20 minutes or so. At this point my sweet boss is in a complete panic while I'm still saying, "I'm sure I'm fine. Jim will be here sometime...today." 

Now I will flip to what I've heard Jim share as His story...and some of Dr. Merry's version as she told me later.  Before class Jim had talked to Dr. Merry and reminded her of the situation about his pregnant wife but that I had 9 days and the Dr. assured us the baby wouldn't come early. She would ask Jim all the time how his wife was doing and ask for baby updates. He was one of the few married engineering students, let alone a new father to be and he had orange hair. He was hard to forget. :)  Jim's name is called to do the presentation. He is about 5 minutes into his 20 or so minute presentation and this frazzled young kid opens the door and yells, "Is Jim Eudaily in here?!"   Um, Yeah.  "you're wife's in labor!"  Jim was so worried about his presentation and grade  that he  had turned off his pager so he wouldn't be distracted. (THIS was Dr. Merry's favorite part) "He continued to give his presentation as he's gathering his things!"  Finally Dr. Merry told Jim to, "Stop! Go! You did a good job. Get out of here!"  We had our first baby 10 days later after labor had been induced. 10 days earlier I'd had false labor but I was dialating and things were progressing, just not enough to stay at the hospital. Our first baby took her old sweet time coming but she certainly gave Dr. Merry a great story to share with every class before final exams for the past 20 years. OH! Jim got an A on his presentation.

Every time she saw me she'd ask, "how's Jim's presentation interruption doing?" "she's doing great." and I'd give a quick update on Kara and any other children we had. She'd always say, "Good for you!" when Jim would tell her we'd had another baby. 

Today as stories were being shared someone  said, "Jim, what's your Dr. Merry story." After he told it was when a younger coworker yelled, "THAT was YOU?! She always told us that she only gave one A for a presentation that wasn't completed and would tell us your story. She'd laugh every time!"

Dr. Merry didn't have children but I would think it's safe to say she probably felt like she had quite a few children that were also fortunate enough to be her students.

This is what was written in OSU's announcement of her retirement just over a year ago:

  "Her relationship with alumni and donors is remarkable and sincere.  Her calm and gentle demeanor has fostered significant long-lasting relationships both personal and professional."

Rest In Peace, Dr. Merry. Thank you for being you. You will be missed.

Slow Down and Look Up

Tonight I watched the movie, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. It was a slow movie and I nearly gave up on watching it but I'm so glad I stuck with it. It did have a slow moving pace and not a lighthearted funny movie but a movie that moved me and left me with thoughts about improving, doing better...just be more real. Taking more time to have real face to face encounters. The story unfolded at a pace we could enjoy each step along the path.

The movie was about this boy whose father died in one of the towers on 9/11. The boy found a key in his dad's closet that led him on a search to find what it would open. The boy meets 427 people and plans to spend only six minutes with each person on his search but he says each person wanted to talk and it took a lot longer for each stop on the search. As the credits rolled, I was left thinking that we all have stories. We may think our stories aren't interesting to others but they're our stories.  How different would we be, our days be, our small part of the world be if we took time to have real face to face time? If we took time to really listen to someone as they share, "their story"? 

Each job I've had has been a job where people are involved and around all the time. I've worked at an ice cream shack, as a cashier, a dressing room attendant, a bank teller, a daycare/preschool teacher.... my favorite job was being a waitress. (Being a mom is my favorite job, waiting tables was my favorite monetary/paying job)  This job was my second job to help earn money faster for college. I loved that I met different people every day, I loved that as I took parents' orders I could help distract the younger kids by making faces or drawing doodles on their place mats. In short my favorite job was being out there, having face to face time and making connections with people. On occasion I'd have one of my "regulars" come sit in my section and I'd get the chance to ask and really listen to their story.  I waited tables for only 6 months and it was 22 years ago but sometimes I still think of the blind man I served. As I put his plate down, I explained where things were on his plate and how grateful he was that I noticed he was blind without making an issue of it.  The hostess seats customers and on busy evenings the waitress may not notice anything other than a new customer is at one of their tables.  As I served him his meal I told him where his food was on his plate, "Your meatloaf is a 2 o'clock, mashed potatoes are at 9...", or the sweet, lonely widower that would come at 4:30 sharp every day and would ask for his favorite waitresses, in order, until one of us were there. His happy compliments and jokes always made us feel not so gross in our ugly, brown, polyester uniform and white nursing shoes. These people touched my life in a way they didn't even realize. They touched my life because I slowed down and looked up.

The movie I watched was a great reminder to look up from our phones,computers, Ipads, etc. and  take a minute to slow down and really connect with people. When we say, "Hi. How are you?" stop and listen to their response.  Chat with the cashier at the grocery store. Some of us spend a bit more time with the cashier each week but we all get a couple minutes with them. :)  Slow down and look up! Don't be in such a hurry that we don't see the interesting people around with great stories to share. We all have stories. We can learn so much by listening to others' stories. We can have a richer life by hearing others' stories.

So stop reading this (just for today) and go pay attention to the real people around you. Really try to SEE the people you see every day. It adds happiness to our lives and who doesn't want to be happy?

MOM! We're bored, continued...

After my kids and husband read my last post, they chastised me not giving more ideas. I don't have pictures of other things we've done...well I do, but I don't have time to go digging for them. . My dad instilled in me a love for learning and I so love that we've done the same thing with our children. I personally, think a 12 week summer vacation is a bit too long. Even as a kid I remember being so very ready to get back to school and a routine the last couple weeks of summer. I think kids forget much of what they're taught at the end of the year when teachers are trying to get them ready for the next grade. It's been proven that not reading for that long does increase the chance for a child to either drop back in their reading skills or not advance like they were doing while in school. I'm not saying I hate long breaks. I love having my kids home for that long but it's encouraged me to find educational value in some of our surprise trips. Sometimes I have to really work at it to make learning fun but here are a few other ideas the kids thought I should've shared in the first post about summer ideas.

CEMETERIES
I know this is weird and maybe even morbid but I like cemeteries. I think it's interesting to see the different types of headstones....sizes, materials they're made with, epitaphs, etc. At least once a summer we go to an old cemetery that I find someplace and we walk around  with papers of about 10 questions or scavenger hunt type things. Find the oldest person, the first person buried in the cemetery, the most damaged headstone, (and if we can we try to fix it...pull weeds, stand it back up), how many folks were in the military?  The kids like this and sometimes when we're driving someplace one of them will notice a cemetery and tell me about it, "This one looks pretty old. We should go to this one." 

MUSEUMS
There are unique museums we've gone to. There's a Popcorn Museum about an hour away from us. They have popcorn makers from the first kind ever made to microwave popcorn, they have old toys the kids can see and play with. That museum wasn't the most exciting and that's when I'm glad I was raised in the family I was...we don't often meet strangers.  By the time we left, the old man was our new friend and  as joking with the kids and walking us around the museum telling all kinds of fun tidbits. To tie it together,  I had brought caramel and cheese popcorn to add to our picnic lunch at a nearby park. The following week I took the kids to the Popcorn Factory. There we saw how large quantities of popcorn was made with all the different flavors. They make about 90 different popcorn flavors. We tasted many the ones I remember most was blueberry popcorn, jalapeno pepper popcorn and then everyone got a small bag to bring home to eat when we have movie night with Jim that night.

YOUR OWN BACKYARD
I like seeing all the beauty in our "backyard" and for free! We've gone to nature hikes at metro parks, we've gone to this beautiful area called Clifton Mill, it's a got a gorge with a rich history. Again..I research the area, what we're seeing and as we go and if it's quiet, I'll share a fun piece of what I learned and it starts new conversations with the kids.

FARMS
Slate Run Farm, a living history museum based on early 1900s is a great place to go. I've also taken the older kids to a similar one in Colorado. I'm sure there's one in everyone's area. This farm is fun especially in the spring when animals have new babies. We once saw a lamb just minutes after it was born. We had to go back several times that summer because my oldest daughter wanted to see "her lamb". The workers there do fun things for the kids to either try or they show them. We've seen lambs sheered, the old school way--without electric trimmers, we've died eggs using all natural things like red onions and beets.

CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT
My husband grew up in Canada and is a huge hockey nut. When our kids are about 18 months old and stable on their feet, we take them ice skating. They all love to ice skate and watch hockey too. Our local ice rink has a "lunch skate" that is only about 1 1/2 hours long and is much cheaper than a night skate. So, I'll take the kids to go skate for an hour. They have their own skates and that saves us money too. Love those buy/sell sports stores! We've never paid more than $10 for a pair skates.  Also we don't live too far away from OSU and tickets to  their hockey games are much cheaper the Blue Jackets. Though, much to my 18 year olds sadness, fighting isn't allowed in college hockey. She would much rather watch an NHL game.

MAKING CHORES FUN
Cleaning and chores have to get done and honestly, who wants to be stuck inside on a nice summer day?  I try to make chores a bit more exciting all the time but in the summer  and on rainy days I make it a bit more exciting.  I call the cleaning supplies "weapons" because they fight off germs. (This is actually a normal weekly thing we do but in the summer I'll have races or challenges.) The music gets turned up, (again normal thing!), and everyone draws a chore out of a cup and then they're given their 'weapon". Wipe off door knobs & lightswitches=Clorox wipes, dust all wood furniture=Swiffer,  take trash all over house=trash bags and Lysol spray, etc. Tho their favorite chore to do is mop the floor in their socks. I hate doing this because it's a huge mess I have to clean up but the floor gets cleaner than it usually does because they will do this for a good hour. I get a bucket of cleaning water, they got mismatched socks I'm about to throw away. They jump in the water bucket and mop the floor. Again, music is usually blasting, kids are sliding around, dancing, splashing all over the place. But they have fun, squabbles don't happen and I get all the tiled areas cleaned.

Again, these are just some more fun ideas that work for us. Go plan some fun things for your family to do before they get home from school and start telling you're "I'm bored."  Have fun making happy summer memories with your family.

MOM! We're bored....

This week marks the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. This time is fun and exciting for both kids and parents but I think I'm safe in saying that most parents have a fair amount of nervous anticipation about this week. The kids are home 24/7 now and mom's role has gone from homework helper, chore enforcer and taxi driver to full time short order cook, entertainment committee, referee...the list can go on and on. We do these things all the time but in the summer we are ALL that, ALL the time.

In my picture search, which I will write a post about and share what I've learned later this week, I found pictures of our past summer activities. I thought I'd post them here and share ideas to help other moms and dads that are feeling the way I do as a fun summer vacation starts.

One of the things I do the first week of summer  is to sit down with the kids and we make a reading challenge. One year we decided if that we, as a family, read 40 books by a certain date, we'd go to Kings Island--one of our local theme parks. When our goal was met, the kids had a meeting without us knowing and then informed us they wanted a Wii instead of a trip to Kings Island. "Instead of one day of family fun, we can have family fun all the time!...AND it's cheaper!" Who can argue with that?! Another year we went camping, we went to Lake Erie, etc. After our challenge has been decided,  we go to our local library and sign up for the summer reading program. This is a more fun thing for the younger kids because many of the toys and trinkets are geared for younger kiddos. I'm excited about this because after 20 years of motherhood all of us can FINALLY ride bikes to the library and without training wheels too!! I love that all but one of my kids loves to read. I won't get on a big soapbox here about reading but I will say that I think if a child learns to read at a young age, other things in life come a bit easier. Imagination, vocabulary, quick thinking, even math. We've always had a specific place in our house just for reading. In my dream home, I will have a whole room as a library with bookshelves from the floor to the ceiling.

reading room is an alcove in big girls' room. Cornice above window is our favorite bookcovers photocopied  & decoupaged onto the wood.

homemade bookshelves copied from Ikea spice racks.

Ikea was sold out, so we made our own version

Painted on one of the reading room walls is one of my favorite quotes,

from one of my fav Dr. Seuss books. Oh The Places You'll Go 

 

I take the kids on what we call "surprise trips". I have two very cool books about Ohio that I use to find fun, unique and kid friendly things to do. With a 12 year age gap, I always worry about losing interest in either the younger kids or the older kids and for different reasons. I am so happy to say that for the most part all the kids are pretty happy with everything we've done. I believe it's the in the delivery of the trip news and the attitude of the parent. Sometimes I'll enlist the help of one of my older daughters so they can help rally the troops. I found pictures of some of my favorite things we've done. I'll post them below with descriptions.  Lots of them are free, most are very inexpensive and only a few have I paid for and had to actually budget for them. I also have a travel time limit, but now that my youngest is 7, the age my oldest was when I started doing these, I can lengthen that travel time. When we wake up the morning I've decided we're going, I yell, "surprise trip!" I've packed the car ahead of time and have movies, activities or games ready for the length of trip. Once we're all in the car I give them three letters as clues. The letters usually are the name of the location, what we will see or the town we are going. My favorite trip was to see 2 castles. I gave the letters, C, Q, K...Kings and Queens live in Castles. For the zoo I would give everything but Z... A, E, S--apes, elephants, snakes.  The kids play 20 questions..sometimes it's 10 questions and others it's 50 to guess where we're going. The chatter I hear from the backseats are often so worth keeping it a secret.

Mac O Cheek Castle, West Liberty, Ohio

 super cool place! And the Ohio Carverns are nearby, literally a cool place

For a family our size, it's quite often cheaper to buy a season pass than to pay to go in just once. Our zoo, for instance is costs us $75 or $85  to go once, while a zoo pass for our family is $90 (or was last year)   but we can go in for a couple hours and not worry about the money we spent for just an hour or two.  And passes like this are often reciprocal and can be used  to get in free or a huge discount at other zoos or museums.  

Natural museum of history and petting zoo,Cleveland

 

Sometimes just pitching the tent in the backyard creates hours of happiness.

This was taken several yrs ago. I can't find recent pix of tent fun.

I always struggle with a pool pass. Our town pool passes increased in price this year and I have trouble paying that for only 2 months of swimming. June is often too cold to swim or the water hasn't warmed up yet and the kids won't go in. However, it is a very nice bribe to get the kids moving on their "lazy" days. "We will go swimming after you've picked up the yard, mowed the lawn."  "Weeded your part of the garden."  "Tidied your room...." I will probably break down and buy a pool pass but I do struggle with it every summer, especially when the kids start begging to go. Who wants to be the mean mom, really?

On rainy days or when the kids start getting crabby with one another I will have a bake off with them. All of my kids can cook and even Nate (7) knows the very basics of cooking. I will somehow team the kids up and then let them raid cookbooks & the internet for whatever theme I've offered. They make a list of what they need, we go shopping if we need to, and they start baking. I supervise the fun and then we enlist Jim and sweet neighbors to be the judges. The kids think this is the most fun of all. The "boys" always make a big deal of testing everything and being official.
                                   

Making chocolate magic.

the judging begins! This time the theme was raspberry.

Things to judge: a raspberry drink, lemon raspberry crepes, chocolate raspberry tart.

I hope this helps start the creative juices flowing with others  that are trying find ways to keep summer fun, cheap, happy and the sibling squabbles to a minimum. Summer is a great time to make happy memories. Start now!!