I've declared October "Parent Appreciation" month. Many know their story but I think it's pretty impressive so here's a quick bit...Mom was 33, Rusty, 21 when they married. Mom had a "tween" boy & 5 yr old girl when they married. I think I was ready to be married at 21, but not sure I'd have been ready to be an instant parent to 2 kids. Did they have issues and problems? Yes. Did they have a tough road ahead? Yes. Did they love each other? Absolutely. Did Rusty adopt both of us and raise as his own kids? Yes. He worked 2, 3 and at times 4 jobs to make sure we didn't do without what we needed. We didn't have everything we wanted, but we had clothes, food, warm beds and parents that loved us. Did I miss my biological dad? Yes. Did I always wonder why he gave up his parental rights? Absolutely! Did I always have questions for him? Yep. Did I reunite with him before his passed away? Yes I did and am so very grateful I did. He didn't pass away in October but I'll share stuff about him too, because without him...well, my brother and I wouldn't be here...I loved so much that I reconnected with him. More later about that.
This week I've been thinking about my mom and so many of the recipes I so badly wish I'd written down. Had I done that though, I'm sure no recipe I copied would taste just like hers. She cooked with a pinch, handful and dash of everything. I'd sit on the chair at the end of kitchen counter, watching her cook as she asked about my day or sang to or with me and would wonder how she knew how much to use. Fast forward 30 or so years and I find myself cooking just like she did. I love that! My kids, however hate it because they can't make their favorites "just like mom" either. The recipes I've so wanted were my mom's apple dumplings, ham loaf, stuffed peppers. I hated the pepper but loved the "stuff". I've looked for anything like any of them on several websites and have yet to find anything similar. My efforts to duplicate haven't been so successful yet...BUT I will not give up! The search and creations continue!
My two oldest children got to meet my mom. Kara remembers a few things about her, Courtney remembers stories we've told that involve her and the other four kiddos have only seen pictures and heard stories. All of my kids got to meet my Dad, Rusty. All but the youngest remember him and have their own stories about him. When I hear those stories from them, it's like a little flame warms my heart. I so wish all of my kids got to know my mom too. She had her troubles but she had such a good heart and so badly wanted her family to know how much she loved them. When our oldest son was born, 9 months after my mom passed away, Jim looked at our son's little scrunched face and got the sweetest smile. He holds him out for me to take him and says, "Look Tiff! He has one dimple just like your mom. It's like she kissed him on the cheek before he left Heaven." Our second son (and youngest baby) has one dimple too. I love seeing their dimples and even though the boys didn't get to meet my mom, they have a piece of her with them all the time. The girls all have my moms eye shape and Jim's eye color. I love genetics and how so much of our DNA is carried from generation to generation. At times, I've looked at my babies faces and catch a glimpse of my mom in them.
My parents passed away one day shy of a full decade apart, in October. So, I could be sad when I think of the heartbreak this month brought 10 years apart OR I could think of them, miss them and think of all the good they brought in my life, the things they taught, they way they loved, the laughter they shared and the love for learning they both had and instilled in me. I hope I've passed that onto their grandchildren. Yes...I miss them. Yes, there are times I just want a hug only my mom can give. Yes, I'd love to hear a dumb joke dad would tell. But for now, I'll hold my memories close to my heart and remember all the good and happiness they added to my life.
Happy Autumn (my favorite time of year), Happy October and Happy Parents' Appreciation month. Make this a good month filled with laughter and joy in your life.
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