It takes a lot of effort to appear to do nothing.

This is a post with a follow up from a conversation I had with my 9 year old son, aka the baby of the family. While getting ready for school yesterday he says, "I think it'd be fun to have a switcharoo day once a week." I assumed he was talking about switching with his dad because he's a Civil Engineer and gets to go on job sites to solve problems. What little boy wouldn't want to go watch cool trucks in action and watch bridges be built? No...he wanted to switcharoo with me, "because you do nothing all day. I'd like to do nothing sometimes." My first reaction was laughter and then I thought, "hmmmm...I think I've failed him a little." 

I've been a mom for 22 years and know not to be offended by this innocent comment or take what a child says personally, but it did get me thinking about his perspective on life.  He comes home from school to a clean house, full refrigerator, full pantry, the lights come on, house is warm and we have hot water for showers, the cars always run safely, etc. These things happen because I take care of them during the day, when he's at school or playing with friends. Our kids do have chores every day, However, the big stuff is always magically done when he needs it to be. 

After he left I decided to intentionally "do nothing" but mom life took care of that for me all by itself. I got asked by other kids to run a few emergency errands and then to go help out at one of the schools.  It was perfect for my "teaching moment". Nate is a sensitive boy when it comes to others' feelings. I had to be careful not to let him think he'd hurt my feelings because he really didn't. I didn't want him to apologize or feel bad for saying what he thought. That's one of the qualities I love about him! As soon as he realizes someone is sad he'll go to them and do whatever it takes to make them laugh or feel better, especially when it comes to his mom. Mom experience has taught me that this window is a pretty small one and  I'm loving that for a short while longer, I'm still a pretty big deal to him. 

When Nate finished his homework, I asked him to look around the house and tell me what he sees. "Dishes a kid forgot to do are still in the sink. Trash that I forgot to take out is very full. The cat's litter box has stuff in it." this list went on for a few minutes. I told him those are things I usually take care of during the day but I didn't today. Then I told him a few other things I do, "I pay the bills so everything works when it needs to, I take cars to the shop, I make sure everyone has clean towels every day, I clean the house and do the stuff I don't ask you to do"...and then named a few. Nate looked at me, around the room and then says, "You do stuff I don't even know about. That's a LOT. You should take some naps every day too!"  :)

Lately I've had mixed feelings about still being a Stay At Home Mom.  I love being here when they get home so we can celebrate the great days, help the bad days improve and eat ice cream together when big disappointments come. Though during the day the kids are in school, I could and would like to get a job (I've tried a few times in the past few months and for whatever reason, I'm still a SAHM), so I've needed to readjust my attitude and thinking about "What am I doing now?" This is where I need to be right now and when the time is right, I'll be hired for that job that is waiting for me to be ready.  Until then, I'll happily spend time with my 9 year old son who within the next year or so will move on from being a mama's boy to whatever fills his time and heart at that point. I'll happily be the mom that can always be available to talk to my college girls whenever they need or want to call, even just to say Hi. I'll happily be the mom that listens to angst and woes of teenage life, and help guide them through their ever changing  and challenging lives they're leading. I will happily be the mom that watches Netflix with my kids while they lay their heads on my shoulder or hold my hand. I will do all of this while I continue doing "nothing" every day for my family. 

Kudos goes out to all the parents that appear to do nothing. It's not easy to do nothing. It's not always fun to do nothing. But it is so very worth every effort and amount of energy we spend doing nothing. I admire working moms and single parents so very much. I honestly am in awe of you. It takes me all day to "do nothing" so I can be ready for the evening of dinner inhaling, taxi service, homework help, etc.  I'm sure I would not look aa put together, as prepared or as calm as so many of you. 


It takes a lot of effort to appear to do nothing.  It makes me happy to "do nothing" every day for the seven people I love more than anything in this world.