This morning my husband called and told me one of his favorite college professors and mentor was killed in a horrific auto accident. She was the only one injured and the news said she was pronounced dead at the scene. That phone call shook me more than I'd expect it to. This professor was a female engineer, engineering is still predominantly a man's circle. She was a pioneer of sorts. Not only was she an engineer before so very many women but she was also a college professor who later became a Chair of the College of Engineering at The Ohio State University. Though, she wasn't ever one of my professors, she touched my life and I'm so grateful to say that I knew her. She was a gracious, kind hearted woman that knew her students and wanted to have a connection with each of them. I heard so many stories from my husband about Dr. Merry. "She taught this, did you know she did...? She drives THE coolest red Porsche! She likes to ski!..." If I didn't know better, I'd think she was Jim's only Engineering Professor.
Jim said the conversations today in his office were people sharing their "Dr. Merry stories" When Jim shared His story, someone yelled "THAT was YOU!?" She always told us that she shared his story with her classes every year. Jim didn't really believe her until today.
Honestly, Jim should be writing this post since she was his professor and he was closer to her. But I love that though she never taught me in class, she always gave me a little, quick, soft hug and asked about our kids and how my life was going. I had the privilege of meeting her several times at several engineering events Jim and his "plus one" was invited to. So, I do feel a bit like I'm infringing on his story but I'll share my side of His Story so it is kind of our story. :)
I was 9 days from my due date with our first baby and it was finals week for Jim. He was beyond stressed and tired. It was also before cell phones were easily affordable, so Jim had a pager. He worked full time and went to school full time and was home for about 7 hours a day. His rule for me was, "call the pager ONLY if you're in labor, not 'please pick up milk at the store.' " Good, can do. My rule for him was, "You must leave your pager on at all times." Good, can do.
I worked as a secretary about 25 minutes away from campus and I drove our only car. (He rode a bike and I'd pick him up at the end of the day, have dinner and he'd then take the car to work.) Being a first time mom I didn't quite know what to expect with labor pains and when I started to get crampy and back aches I didn't think much of it. My boss was talking to me and she noticed I kept rubbing my stomach every few minutes. She gets me to the back room, puts my feet up and tells me to call the dr. "No. I'm sure it's nothing. This feels nothing like the books say." I call the dr. anyway and he suggests I come in he thinks I'm in the early stages of labor. My boss panics, "YOU have the car! You can't drive!" "No not today. Jim had to do a presentation in class and it was his only final." She tells me to call Jim right away, I hesitate because I know he was so worried about Dr. Merry's presentation. "She's a super nice lady but she's a tough professor. I need to do well on this." Pain was getting a bit worse and I decide to use my 911 call on the pager. I hear this message: "This pager cannot be reached." WHAT?!?! I call every number I can to find the correct engineering building, secretary and FINALLY some poor guy who is walking by the phone decided to pick it up. He hears hears this young mom-to-be explaining the situation. "My husband is giving his final presentation in Dr. Merry's class. I don't know what room, can't remember the name of the class. I don't even know what building. He's studying Structural engineering. You think you can find him for me?" Unlucky phone answerer: "Give me your number and I will call you if I can NOT find him but I'm pretty sure I know where he is. I'll race over and have him call you." I didn't hear back from him and didn't hear from Jim for another 20 minutes or so. At this point my sweet boss is in a complete panic while I'm still saying, "I'm sure I'm fine. Jim will be here sometime...today."
Now I will flip to what I've heard Jim share as His story...and some of Dr. Merry's version as she told me later. Before class Jim had talked to Dr. Merry and reminded her of the situation about his pregnant wife but that I had 9 days and the Dr. assured us the baby wouldn't come early. She would ask Jim all the time how his wife was doing and ask for baby updates. He was one of the few married engineering students, let alone a new father to be and he had orange hair. He was hard to forget. :) Jim's name is called to do the presentation. He is about 5 minutes into his 20 or so minute presentation and this frazzled young kid opens the door and yells, "Is Jim Eudaily in here?!" Um, Yeah. "you're wife's in labor!" Jim was so worried about his presentation and grade that he had turned off his pager so he wouldn't be distracted. (THIS was Dr. Merry's favorite part) "He continued to give his presentation as he's gathering his things!" Finally Dr. Merry told Jim to, "Stop! Go! You did a good job. Get out of here!" We had our first baby 10 days later after labor had been induced. 10 days earlier I'd had false labor but I was dialating and things were progressing, just not enough to stay at the hospital. Our first baby took her old sweet time coming but she certainly gave Dr. Merry a great story to share with every class before final exams for the past 20 years. OH! Jim got an A on his presentation.
Every time she saw me she'd ask, "how's Jim's presentation interruption doing?" "she's doing great." and I'd give a quick update on Kara and any other children we had. She'd always say, "Good for you!" when Jim would tell her we'd had another baby.
Today as stories were being shared someone said, "Jim, what's your Dr. Merry story." After he told it was when a younger coworker yelled, "THAT was YOU?! She always told us that she only gave one A for a presentation that wasn't completed and would tell us your story. She'd laugh every time!"
Dr. Merry didn't have children but I would think it's safe to say she probably felt like she had quite a few children that were also fortunate enough to be her students.
This is what was written in OSU's announcement of her retirement just over a year ago:
"Her relationship with alumni and donors is remarkable and sincere. Her calm and gentle demeanor has fostered significant long-lasting relationships both personal and professional."
Rest In Peace, Dr. Merry. Thank you for being you. You will be missed.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story. It made me laugh and I could picture her retelling it. RIP Dr. Merry. You will certainly be missed.
ReplyDelete