I think today I'm using this blog as an escape from reality. My "normal" reality is that I've got six amazing kids,(I know I'm biased but they really are pretty great). I have an amazing husband that has the energy of 20 men. I have a house I try to keep tidy or at the very least germ free and a yard that has so much landscaping it overwhelms me. I have 5 chickens that I like to watch be stupid together, a cat that I really don't like but my kids do, so he stays because I love my kids more than I dislike cats. My "this week" reality is: we have family coming for our daughter's high school graduation, several nights of concerts and award programs, softball practices and games, mom taxi service, overnight camping/hiking trip this weekend. I have an empty pantry and laundry that I've not done for a couple days. I told my husband our laundry is more fertile than I am! I put two towels together and next thing I know I've got 2 big piles of just bathroom laundry.This blog is definitely serving as my land of denial.
I've been editing senior pictures, cleaning off SD cards and organizing picture files in my computer for the past few weeks. It's fun but a bit weird seeing our lives change in Kodak moments. I'm often asked, "how do you do it?" My honest answer is that I don't know, most of the time. I go on autopilot and just get things done. I wake up running and don't stop running until I stop around 11 when I try to watch the news but usually doze off while it's on. The kids make fun of me for falling asleep watching tv. Maybe I have a form of narcolepsy...when I stop moving I fall asleep.
In these pictures I see a bunch of kids hanging on me or Jim with big, happy smiles. I see pictures of kids holding their new baby sibling, kids with casts, swollen eyes from bee stings or running into something that got in their way, water babies, hiking babies, bike riding babies. I see me and Jim so happy and busy and think I don't know how we did it. And it makes me a bit sad to realize how very fast it went. I remember those days like yesterday and I remember thinking during the gnarly moments, "one day this will pass." Sweet older ladies would smile at me as I have my momma duck line going someplace and they'd say, "enjoy this time. It goes by so fast." I would smile and thank them for their advice but would think, "it sure doesn't seem like it's going by fast"
One day I was taking my then 5 kids to the library to sign up for summer reading. I'm carrying the car seat, with 3 week old Becca, I have my 2 year old holding the other side of the car seat. explaining to her (more like begging her to not let go so I don't have to chase her with my brood following) "mommy needs help, will you please keep the baby safe with me?" Then I have 3 year old protective Hunter keeping her safe by squeezing Natalie's hand, Courtney's got a death grip on Hunter's hand (she's my rule abider. I said don't let go of hands. There was NO way she was going to break the rule.) and 7 year old Kara at the other end being the "other responsible adult" in the line. I realized we had taken up the whole lane in the parking lot when I heard a car idling behind us. I looked back and smiled at the driver as the she patiently waited for us to get out of her way. In that 2 second head turn all hell had broken loose. I'm sure the lady saw what was happening and wasn't smiling at me but at what she was watching take place. 2 year old Natalie trips and falls, skinning her knee, Hunter freaks out because he's sees blood; Courtney, refusing to let go of Hunter's hand, squeezes harder and he starts crying because "she's hurting me." I turn to Kara as calmly as I could and handed her the car seat, "go directly to the bench and wait for me. Look both ways as you leave the parking lot." She says, "I got this mom" and as I turn away from her to pick up wounded Natalie, calm Hunter, "it's just a scratch, there's no big cut." and try to explain to Courtney that "I have Hunter's hand now, it's okay to pleeeeease let go of him." Meanwhile the lady in the van has put the car in park and is now talking to her child in the backseat. This is when this sweet old lady pats me on the back and says, "enjoy this time. It goes by so fast." She was right, it did. Now I'm the lady telling moms how fast the time goes.
I'm embracing this new season of life without as many daytime interruptions but I do miss the laughter of a little kid, sitting and reading to a toddler that still giggles as we both say "I will not eat green eggs and ham...", the pitter patter of little feet on the floor, the cute grunts of a baby that can't talk but I know that particular grunt means they want a drink. I rush around during the day to get as much done I can so that at 2:40, when my first bus rider comes home, I can hear all about their day and laugh with them as they tell me their stories. That's now my favorite time of day, we talk and laugh together before the crazy evening schedules take over.
And now I must stop avoiding and go to the grocery store so I can feed my brood. I will try to find the happy in shopping!
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