This post is very different than the one I was writing in my head while driving home after a fun weekend with my brother. I was going to write about things I saw this weekend, how hard work is so worth every effort, my pride as a little sister, the love of my husband and babies.... After a text my son received late last night saying a friend had committed suicide this blog post took a different turn. I wasn't going to write at all today but writing is therapeutic and I pray it somehow reaches someone or helps someone that may need it right now.
The look on my sweet son's face last night was unfortunately, not a new one for us to see. The first friend he lost was in first grade. A horrific car accident took a classmates life. He's known others that have died way too young but no one he knew very well. Now he's a 15 yr old young man that has lost yet another friend. While I want so badly to help I am completely at a loss as to what to do. Nothing I do will ease anyone's pain for their loss. So we did what we do and opened our house for friends to come be together. Hunter had a few friends come over to cry, talk, laugh and just be together for a few hours. They were here until early morning hours and I am so glad they have each other.
This young man had so much talent and such a great life ahead of him. He suffered from depression and had demons he fought constantly. Depression is not something you can see on the outside. My hope from this post is that we learn, truly learn and get, that we don't know what others are dealing with. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. We don't and can't know how our words and actions will truly affect someone.
The things I want to share here are these: Be kind. Be supportive. Take an extra minute to wait and listen to a response to the all too often rhetorical question, "how are you?" We pass people in the hallway at work or school and say, "hi. how are ya?" and move on, like it's a simple greeting. If someone looks a bit down, give them a smile or a touch on the arm or a quick hug. I once read we need 16 touches a day to survive. I don't think that's a physical survival but to remain emotionally and mentally alive and healthy we need to have some human, physical connection every day.
About 4 hours into my trip home yesterday I pulled into an Arby's parking lot and cried. I had pulled into a spot that had no one around so as not to look like a weirdo. An older man in a truck pulled up beside me to eat his sandwich. As I was wiping my eyes before getting out of the car this man caught my eye, gave me a smile and quick wave. He had no idea why I was crying, I'm not sure I did either, but his small gesture did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I hope we follow this man's example and look around us. Reach out, smile and love those around us. You never know when you may change someone's day or maybe save a life.
RIP Blake Li. You touched so many lives and you will be missed.
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